when i become angry and short-fused, i am really only angry at myself and am taking it out on others.
when i become sad and morose, i am analyzing all i have done to prevent anyone from caring about me- and more often than not, i am thinking harmful thoughts.
when i become solemn and watchful, i am wondering what i can do to make things better than they are.
when i become happy, i am either feigning it or my thinking has completely shut down and i no longer give a damn.
when i throw a fuss, i really just want someone to say, "i love you. you are special to me."
when i say, "don't touch me," i mean, "i'm angry at myself and i'd like you to console me."
when i say, "i promise," i mean, "i'll try for a little while but we all know promises mean shit in this world."
when i say, "i'm sorry," i mean, "tell me what to do to make things better."
when i say, "i'm fine," i mean, "i am not fine. but i can't tell you what the matter is."
when i say, "it's okay, don't worry," i mean, "what did i do wrong? do you hate me?"
when i say, "i love you," i don't know what i mean.
i'll get you my pretty - 2005-02-01
what a similar us - 2005-01-19
lately - 2005-01-02
i'm dying tomorrow - 2004-12-31
